Three parts of personality

Olga Rukina. Inner Child, inner Parent and inner Adult.


Before i described the practice of the Shadow. Now it’s time to remember other components of our personality: the inner Child, the inner Adult and the inner Parent. This is a very interesting theory in psychology. Its value is that we are able to discover within ourselves absolutely all the resources for existence and maintenance of our needs. I have been practicing this theory for several years, and it has helped me a lot in sorting out my emotions, understanding how some of my problems look like and finding ways to solve them. Both the Shadow theory and the theory of the inner Child, Adult, Parent are aimed at introspection ─ self-study and self-reflection, when a person learns to listen to himself, his feelings and needs, learns to recognize, interpret his true desires and, accordingly, finds himself real.

This practice is suitable for all people no depending on age, gender or social status. Imposing can only be for those who have mental illness or complex nervous state, where you need a professional help and supervision.

First of all you need to close your eyes and imagine.

What does a Child living in your soul look like? How he or she dressed? What does he (she) feels? Where your inner Child is situated: in room, on the beach or in the magic castle? What objects he is surrounded by, what scares him, what makes him awe or joy, whom this Child loves and who does not? You need to see this image in all possible details.

Next you imagine what your inner Parent looks like. Is it a man or a woman? Where is he (she) situated, what is he doing, what are his features? In the same way, you can imagine what your inner Adult looks like: who he (she) is, this person or some creature, how he behaves ─ visualize them in all possible details.

This is a very exciting practice because you, in fact, communicate with your soul and you are completely free to interpret. If you get unusual, chaotic, phantasmagoric or even frightening pictures ─ this is normal. It’s very good that you could recognize them like that. In the future this will help you to understand and build a plan for working with each of them.

Next you need to feel what kind of relationship all of the above parts of your personality are in.

How does the Child relate to the Parent and Adult? How does an Adult behave towards a Child and a Parent? How are they located to each other, what connections are established between them and which are missing? Are they love or hate each other?

So who are they ─ these amazing and deep images?

The inner Child is our condition that we brought from childhood, a certain imprint from our memory that remained “there” ─ far, but forever near. These are our emotions, fears, joy, pain, resentment, thirst for love, attention, recognition, desire to play, interaction with other people, our curiosity, sense of humor, carefree, fun, way of survival and adaptation to the external situation.

The inner Parent is a state that also came to us from childhood, and was formed on the basis of what we saw and received from our parents: a system of values ​​and principles, life rules and order, the ability to educate, to care, to love, to pay attention, to help, to advise. This is perform any actions, qualities and skills that reflect the parental authority figure.

The inner Adult is a condition that has been developed over the years. This is the so-called Racio. Its essence is a rational approach, logical analysis, decision making, taking responsibility and self-awareness as a separate independent unit with its desires, plans, goals and methods for achieving them. This is what makes our personality adult.

The inner Child is revealed through emotions, sensations and creativity. Inner Parent ─ through acceptance of responsibility and personal self-awareness. Inner Adult ─ through the ability to rationally approach the inner and outer world.

If we have a weak connection with the inner Child, or there is some kind of deep conflict in this particular area of ​​the personality, we may have problems with self-expression and suppression of emotions. In such a creature as the inner Child there is a very large number of complexes that walk directly from childhood. This is a feeling that we were not loved as much as we needed, and we need to take this love now. But also in this amazing and very deep being there is the greatest impulse, charge to our development and action.

Why is it important to connect with the inner Child. Because, if we do this, we can express ourselves. Through feelings, speech, creativity, action ─ through the sensation of our internal states. So, that we can see our children's grievances and needs and understand how to satisfy them and find inner happiness. This is necessary because later we can finally grow up and cease to depend on others, on their recognition or praise. This is a very important stage of development for normal self-esteem and independence in general.

To establish a relationship with the inner Parent is important if we want to create our own system of values, to understand how to live properly, how to interact adequately with people around us, if we want to take care of ourselves, love ourselves, realize and satisfy our needs. This is necessary if we want to have a healthy self-esteem, maintain it at the proper level and do it using adequate methods. He (she), who knows how to love himself correctly, is capable of adequate love for his neighbor, to build the so-called “healthy” relationships.

Communication with the inner Adult is important if we are ready to take the responsibility TO BE ADULTS ─ make decisions, set goals, plan, complete tasks, analyze and set boundaries. Adult is a very important function in the psyche, with which it is necessary to cooperate as early as possible. In order for a person to be accustomed to critical thinking from an early age, be able to connect one with the other, see the situation in volume and understand how best to do it.

Why we should do this practice?

Firstly, for the experiment.
Secondly, in order to better understand ourselves and other people.

If during practice you see that your Child is missing something, you can connect the inner Parent who gives it to the Child. For example, you feel an acute lack of love and recognition. You can imagine how the Parent takes the Child in his arms, hugs him and tells him some important, warm and kind words or advises what the Child needs to do in order for him to finally realize himself and feel happiness.

Or you feel that you lack inner joy. Then ask your Child what he would like and how to get it. Inner Children are usually very talkative and, if you feel an impulse to urgently go to a rap battle or attend archery mugs ─ do not hesitate, it says your inner Child who has not rap and has not shot archery for so many years.

Or you have an internal crisis of meaning. This happens when, for example, you are approaching the mark of 30 years. Or 50. You can arrange a “meeting” meditation with your inner Adult and talk with him, as a teacher, on what you should do next and where to find a foothold in this difficult and voluminous plane of being. Thus, you are consult with your Racio directly.

In the future I added my inner Shadow to the Child, Parent and Adult. And I looked at how not three, but the four components of my psyche are functioning together. The result was a very interesting experiment in which I open myself from completely different directions than before.

This practice does not oblige you to shut yourself up and not let other people comes into your world. Also, it is not aimed at abandoning external authorities and important figures. It is designed to help and facilitate the existence of “here and now”, because there are not always near those, who we need so much: loving parents, cheerful friends, caring people, intelligent teachers and powerful mentors. But they always exist within us: in the form of a component of our own psyche. And it is very convenient. Because in any, even the most difficult situation, we are able to find a foothold within ourselves to calm, understand and take further action.

The author of illustration and text — Rukina Olga.
Olga Rukina illustration / Instagram / Facebook

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