Whitelist. With love
In medical practice there is a special exercise for people with a panic attack or post-traumatic shock. A person needs to say his name, age, place of residence, current year, month, date etc — most basic points of contact with reality. This would quickly bring the victim out of a state of stupor and return person to reality.
I think this is a very good exercise that can help in a dangerous, stressful situation as well as in daily procrastination, during winter melancholy or periods of some dramatic personal changes: when you need to concentrate, feel all your resources, make the right choose and start working on your life at the pace you need.
Take a paper or create an electronic file, and write, at your choice, the following lists:
— your name, year of birth and place where you live,
— describe how do you look, and then highlight the best features of your appearance and character. What exactly do you like in yourself, what are you proud of in yourself most?
— remember and write some of the brightest, kindest, and life-inspiring events in your life (concert, trip, meeting, work, hobby, childbirth, marriage etc)
— make a list of your strengths in work, learning or communication with others,
— your talents, what you can do, your hobbies,
— qualities for which you respect yourself,
— qualities and actions for which you are VERY grateful to yourself,
— your achievements (victories in competitions, diplomas, wins in disputes, memorable bargains, successful solutions of problems, moments where you honored yourself as successful being),
— for what you are grateful to yourself TODAY(for example, "Today I bought a useful book for a work. I’m glad that i took care of this important and necessary moment.” Or “Today I walked for two hours in the park — well done, I spent time with benefits for my body")
— a list of people who were kind with you. Those with whom you were comfortable: best friends, loved ones, intelligent experts in their field,
— places, where you were great (institutions, countries, cities, museums, concerts, events),
— your favorite objects in your house, that give you comfort and joy.
You can make such lists with different topics. The main thing here is to concentrate on your feelings, desires, your memory and emotions. And do it in such a very soft, warm, enveloping and nourishing way: with love for yourself and your life story.
When you compiling these lists, it is very important to understand and remember the following:
— you describe YOUR personal experience,
— which DOES NOT need to be compared with anyone else,
— and which is no worse than the experience of another person.
For example, if you write in your achievements a diploma from school or the fact that you did not spend too much money on on “black Friday” — that is YOUR personal experience that you like to be proud of. It is experience that warms something important in your psyche. And, please, don’t devalue it like “low significance” for all humanity or something “insufficiency great”. Here you reflect and feel within the limits and scales of your personal Universe. And it is beautiful. Remember this.
The essence of this practice is to learn to feel yourself, your desires and needs, to form clearly them and begin all this process not with self-criticism and self-deprecation, but with an understanding of your beautiful and strong points. This practice will help you to see yourself as a PERSON, strengthen your self-esteem and will greatly help in some kind of crisis, difficult situation. In fact, here you are interested in yourself, talking with your soul, understanding its true needs.
In the future this can be transformed into lists of qualities that you would like to correct or strengthen in yourself, from whom you would like to get rid of in your life, finally, the list of your plans "for five years ahead". Before composing such — full of critical attitude, negative and, possibly, even bad memories, lists — you need to recharge yourself with something positive and strong — with healthy self-love.
I wish you productive work on your well-being. Appreciate yourself and your entire life path, because you are its one and only.
The author of illustration and text — Rukina Olga.