The Parasites Qualities
Before I wrote about the qualities that can help you in improving your well-being and living standards. In this article we will talk about the qualities or traits of character that, in my observations, in practice have proved to be exclusively from a destructive and pernicious side.
So, let's in.
Laziness and Nothing-to-doing. A state of mind in which a person completely disclaims responsibility for his life, counts on magic luck, a confluence of circumstances beyond his control. Laziness and nothing-to-doing lead to parasitism on others, to envy and other unpleasant side effects, which flood the personality and stop the development of its carrier. Yes, these are the parasites qualities which, like malicious viruses, attack our body. And the longer they remain us, the worse becomes our state of health.
The Nagging. I'm not talking about the phenomenon once a month, when you want a bar of chocolate or a little bit of vodka. I talk about a total, thorough and marsh-like groaning, then a constant background hovers around a person. The whiners are the emotional vampires who need a resource in the form of someone else's attention and free help. If there is a whiner next to you, be ready for static complaints, crying, passive aggression in your direction and constant requests to help and listen them. I hasten to warn: not one of your advice, not one minute of yours time with this person is converted into something really useful that would fix the free state of things in his life for the better. The virus of whining is very contagious, therefore, if someone next to you begins to slowly «worm to the moon» the likelihood that your world colors will soon fade.
Too much negative inside. Calculating all possible options for what is happening in advance, including the most horrible ones is practical. But, if you have a virus of an overabundance of negativity, be prepared for the scenario where you live in a world where by definition nothing good can happen, some idiots are around, and in your troubles is guilty anyone except for you. Sounds cool? I do not think so. Negative emotions can got out of you in very different ways, you can working with them and even extracting from them a practical benefit that moves us forward. To be in hell or not to be — that's already a choice. And in order not to be in inner hell, we need the strength of spirit.
Idealization or totalitarianism of optimism. This is the reverse side of the overabundance of the negative, his twin brother, only with a very conventional "plus" sign. This is a quality that does not give to person an opportunity to look at his business, health, relationships or even life with adequate criticism. It is a habit to look at things with a truly criminal pseudo-optimism, which in its essence does not come from a good mood, but out of fear of encountering reality, consequences and responsibility. When «everything is bad» — it's not ok, but when «everything is just super, everything is fine, and I completely do not notice a fire in the house» — this is also not cool...
Making toо much fun of yourself. This trait in behavior very often indicates to unstable and inadequate self-esteem, discarding responsibility for one's actions, lagging behind in psychological development and wild, simply severe self-doubt. There is a very subtle but tangible edge between aesthetic, refined self-irony and an inadequate banter, which has grown to the scale of a radioactive garbage dump. If you develop a total hysterical clownery around you, sooner or later you will be entrusted with the role of a very frivolous person who can always be jeered at, which cannot be taken seriously and whose life can be looked upon as a banal circus. Okay, a man laughs at himself — and nothing terrible in it. BUT. When such a character, too carried away by ridiculing himself, remains without spectators, he splashes out all that hatred and aggression that has accumulated in a day-to himself and to those with whom he literally laughed so loud five minutes ago. This is an eerie spectacle and the state of things.
Desire to please everyone. «As he slides on the slippery ball of inconstancy of slippery looks» — a thought that can flit in your dialogue with someone who really wants everyone to like. Also, this person may get the impression that he does not have his own opinion, that he cannot be trusted, that he, as a spy, is «both — our and yours». It is difficult to be yourself, it is difficult to say «no», it is difficult to have our point of view at in our difficult times. But the desire to please everyone and everyone — does this give you some real and tangible power? Or it make you feel the decay of your personality and misunderstanding, where are you, where is yours «ok and absolutely not ok»?
This list is not exhausted by the points given in the article and is always is very individual. It depends on many factors: the form of behavior to which you are accustomed from childhood, from your attitude to yourself and from where you are most conveniently able to receive material benefits, love, attention and approval from the people around you.
I wish you to faith in your strength, happiness and calm mood for the development of your cool, strong and really helping qualities.
The author of the illustration and the text — Olga Rukina.Olga Rukina illustration / Instagram / Facebook